10 dating daughter rule
My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge.Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?
You must also become an expert in determining if we are being sarcastic or serious. When taking her out on a PROPER date, you WILL come to the door, you WILL be polite and you WILL wait patiently as she continues to get ready.Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool.Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. On issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a wadi near Khandahar.You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck.If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car.
As it turns out, Lexi’s boyfriend reads my blog and he has told me that eventually instead of saying “as much as it kills me that Lexi has a boyfriend” I will one day say “I’m glad Lexi has a boyfriend”. So this post is for him, to let him know the rules and where he stands.
Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget.
If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating.
Rule 5 : You may think for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. The only information I need from you is when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need is "early".
Rule 6 : I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls.
Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose his compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object.