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Welcome back to The Attraction Doctor Last week, I discussed why women can't find a "good" man (here).In that article, I explained my hypothesis that women are stuck in a double-bind between what they are told through modern social norms and their own biological motivation.

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Furthermore, their tactics are often designated as "sexist" (Hall & Canterberry, 2011).Changing social norms has allowed few avenues by which they can be both acceptable as a relationship partner and attractive as a sex partner.As a result, at least half of their needs are unfulfilled, regardless of the decision they make.Again though, men pursuing this strategy also report the need to stay vigilant for their partner's waning attraction, signs of cheating, and being taken for granted (much as women in "traditional" relationships do).With divorce a very real (and punishing) possibility, these men may also choose to think carefully before committing.Socially, they are expected to be "compliant" (i.e. However, they are also urged by women's sexual interest to maintain an "attractive personality" (i.e. Unfortunately, men sometimes report that attempting to balance these notions does not result in satisfaction, happiness, or women's appreciation and respect.

The men that I speak with (and who commented on my last post) lament about being in a "no win situation" in modern dating.

When punishments weight more heavily, people avoid those same behaviors.

Essentially, many men report that they find modern dating a primarily punishing affair.

With this strategy, men are often able to fulfill their short-term sexual needs—especially within the modern, socially-sanctioned climate of "hook-ups" and causal encounters.

In fact, many of these men are former virgins and "nice guys" who previously could not get their physical needs addressed.

Overall, they report that there is often little incentive for men to date and even less for them to consider long-term commitments.