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Bohemian online dating

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A teacher, I think – especially now that I have a bit more confidence.I’m going to be honest with you: Online dating is not ideal.

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◊♦◊I make an all-too-accurate quip that likens the whole process to that of a job application.In both cases I am seeking snapshot validation from a stranger based on criteria, many of which are flawed or arbitrary, not to mention easy to manipulate.So far on my adventures I am pleased to relate that only one prospective suitor has been put off by my unemployed status.With all of its popularity and sometimes “successful” endings, online dating mostly just adds insult to injury. Here’s what happens: You break up with your significant other.Your pain is so intense even Kanye West’s recent adaption of “Bohemian Rhapsody” (blessings to Adam Lambert for assisting the recovery) leaves you absent of laughter.This is a significantly lower number than those who are deterred by my total disregard for social norms.

In the right context it can be seen as statistically insignificant.

(Free-thinker was an option but that can convey a multitude of sins – thinking freely does not necessarily imply quality or focus of thought.)Choosing some vaguely suitable photographs of me looking happy and doing active things that reflect my desire for a similarly go-getting mate, I mean partner, I move on to the “Bio”.

So many options here about how to present myself; need to be funny, need to be truthful (someone’s got to be and that white lie is still playing heavily on my mind), need to leave some questions unanswered to develop a sense of intrigue.

” question.◊♦◊With equal parts terror and excitement, I click “sign up” and begin to fill in an unending series of psychometric analyses and personality profiling questions. I recently read somewhere, probably incorrectly, that this was one of the sexiest careers a man can have.

My deeply cynical core violently rejects the idea that any algorithm can know me or form accurate inferences about who I am, but I focus my mind for a moment on the incredible accuracy with which Google seems to “know” what I want (even when I don’t! Anyway, it’s not a dating site unless you tell at least one white lie!

(I have formulated plans for a small coffee and smoothie business and am weighing up investment opportunities for my dwindling savings so it’s not a complete fabrication.)The ‘U-word’ weighs heavy on my mind, years of media-led social conditioning have left me unable to hear the word “Unemployed” in a positive light, despite knowing that all it means is that I am not currently contributing to a social state that does not serve my interests.