Buy dating double
This week, I will discuss how that double-bind for women may have resulted in a double-bind for men as well.Today, men are given confusing and contradictory advice.
Unfortunately, these qualities are again part of women's double bind, with social norms sometimes guiding them away from these biologically feminine characteristics.Men have adapted and devised a number of strategies to make the best of these difficult options, including the following: 1) Becoming Attractive - one strategy adopted by some men is to become attractive, dominant, and sexually-forward.These are the guys who are often labeled "players", "macks", and "pick-up artists".Socially, they are expected to be "compliant" (i.e. However, they are also urged by women's sexual interest to maintain an "attractive personality" (i.e. Unfortunately, men sometimes report that attempting to balance these notions does not result in satisfaction, happiness, or women's appreciation and respect.The men that I speak with (and who commented on my last post) lament about being in a "no win situation" in modern dating.If they follow what society tells them to do, they often end up "good guys" who are taken advantage of, mistreated, and disrespected.
In contrast, if they follow more "assertive" biological imperatives, they are labeled "jerks" and "players"—who may get sexual gratification, but not love or respect from what they would consider a "good woman".
Furthermore, they do so in a situation where women's own social instruction may reduce the very characteristics that many of these men desire.
Given that, many men sit on the couch, plug in a video game, and opt out—just as Behaviorism and Skinner might predict.
These men may further be regarded as "just friends"—expected to pay for all of the costs of a relationship, without the physical and intimate benefits (see here).
In contrast, if men shun social pressures to be "nice" and follow what is biologically attractive, they have a higher likelihood of getting "sex partners".
Again though, men pursuing this strategy also report the need to stay vigilant for their partner's waning attraction, signs of cheating, and being taken for granted (much as women in "traditional" relationships do).