Fear of commitment dating
” And 25-year-old Jess* has similar problems: “Every time it starts to get serious with a guy I just freak out and push them away, and I don’t even know why.” Thanks to the prevalence of dating apps, it seems to be a growing problem amongst millennials, when there could always be someone better just a swipe away.
But coming to think of it, why are most of us so afraid to get involved in a serious relationship or take the next step towards marriage?“A woman with a traumatic childhood is just as likely to have a fear of commitment as a man with a similar past.“There are some patterns to suggest that men and women like different things in relationships and at different stages but none to suggest that men are any more prone to commitment-phobia than women.But once you start picking flaws, you can never truly respect your partner or love them the way you once did.And that, my friend, is the beginning of the end of your relationship.But both Singh and San agree that a person get over a fear of commitment, and the first step is understanding, accepting and reflecting on it.
The next step is to find the links between your current behaviour and your earlier attachment bond, and then work through the trauma, anger and resentment that you might be carrying from childhood or from a previous relationship.
To define it, the fear of commitment is the fear of entering into a long term relationship or the fear of getting married.
But more often than not, most people aren’t really afraid of long term relationships. There’s something about holy matrimony and “till death do us part” that shoves cold feet under our torso, and makes us question the longevity of the relationship.
But instead of confronting the real fear *change*, you look for a million reasons to justify why you should stay away from commitment.
And without realizing it, you’d start picking flaws and faults in your partner just to stay away from commitment.
As much as people may joke about having “daddy issues,” both Singh and San believe those who develop a fear of commitment do so because of their past experiences and often their relationship with their parents when growing up.