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Is going to a strip club and getting a lap dance considered infidelity? All of these questions bring up jealousy, desire, and level of monogamy you and your partner need to consider before getting married."6. Fact: "It's impossible to get away from porn these days, and many people have used it in order to kick-start arousal," says Castellanos."Unfortunately, when porn is done in hiding, it can fuel feelings of avoidance and anger." To keep those uncomfortable feelings at bay, "it's great for couples to discuss how each of them feel about porn and what their expectations of porn use is for each individual and in the relationship so that there is transparency around this issue," she says.

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Being the one to always do the rejecting can feel like a powerful place to be in, but this often leads to a sense of loss that can be difficult to bear.The Relate Guide to Finding Love is a book I’d recommend as contains a plan to help boost your self-esteem and attract the right partner.Coming to Relate for individual counselling may also be a good option, particularly for those struggling with self esteem and past relationships. "Marriage is a bright new beginning that often heralds a deeper dimension of a couple's sexual relationship," says Madeleine Castellanos, M. "But it would be a mistake to think that the beginning of this relationship encompassed the totality of each person's sexual expression."To grow your relationship, Castellanos says, "ongoing communication about your sexual self is essential." Start with these six questions to get on the same sexual page and to "learn about each other's values and ideals," she says.1. Expecting your sex drives to sync up from the start might be a mistake."Couples often get into a pattern of uncertainty and guilty feelings if one person seems to want sex more frequently than the other — and unfortunately, this is almost always unavoidable," says Castellanos.Are you in a relationship that’s not working for you?

Have you been on your own for a while and now feel it’s time to find someone?

It's a new year, so perhaps you’ll get that job, the credit card bill will shrink, and you’ll find a new partner who you can share your life with.

Well, I can’t do anything about the job or the bill, but as a relationship counsellor I can help you take a c First off, let's consider where you are at now.

What sexual fantasies might you'd like to enact one day? But "partners can be hesitant about sharing what kinds of sexual activities they would like to do" says Sari Cooper, New York City-based certified sex therapist and coach, "because they don't want their partner to know what they have done in the past with others, they have embarrassment over their desires, or they think their partner will think critically about them." It's important to get to explore them before you tie the knot, she says, and show your partner they can be open and honest with you.4. It's a good idea to get on the same page about "having sex in different positions as well as mixing and matching oral sex and manual stimulation.

Sex toys can also be a great addition to your sex life, expanding your possibilities of your sensations and activities."5. You might be surprised to find your future spouse defines fidelity differently than you do.

So along with asking about how often your partner wants to get down, you should also talk over what other intimate needs you each may have, because "there is always a variation in each person's schedule, mood, energy level, and stress level," she says.2.