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I am angry and hurt and I want to hit him or something but the thing that makes me most ashamed is that I want him to leave her and choose me.And he won't do that because married men don't leave their wives.He tells me that I will never even begin to understand how he feels about me but if he did, he would leave me alone."I have to leave this man alone" : so why don't you do just that ?Why do you insist on deluding yourself that he loves you at all, rather than merely loving the chances you give him to use you ?Assuming he does choose you, you will surely be in the same situation his wife is in now. Reply to Anonymous I'm sorry that you are struggling so much with this.
You will be with a cheating man you need to "check up on" because you KNOW what he is capable of. How you get past this is you stop opening the door when he knocks on it. Stop being available for him to use you as he pleases. Have you asked yourself how you would genuinely feel if he actually did leave his wife at this point?
Instead now we have a vicious circle where he comes around and I act like stupid crazy woman and rant and rave and he holds me and comforts me and everything is ok. I should have stuck to my guns when I said that he should stay away and call me when he's divorced.
and we go out and he parades me in front of his friends (what kind of friends are these people who has us in their homes and makes me part of their circle when they know he's married - I no longer go with him to his friends when they have get togethers or celebrations). How do I get past this - I feel its more than just an error in judgment.
What's the point of dramatically expressing guilt, when you refuse to choose to stop doing this ?
You are insistently creating and living in a soap opera, rather than rejoining the real world. Don't tell him to go away and call you when he's divorced.
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