Problems with dating divorced men
Cheating can be a complicated act and not every man who has cheated is necessarily a cheater by nature, nor will he be a cheater.But if the man you are now dating reveals that his divorce was caused by a series of infidelities on his part, or if you hear through others that he has a history of cheating, then it is fair to assume that he might also have some very real issues remaining faithful to you.
I probably wouldn’t ask him that on a first date, but if you’ve been dating for some time and it looks like it’s getting serious, ask him in a way that feels comfortable to you.And you can likewise make a choice about whether being in a relationship with him would truly be fulfilling for you, based on the experience that you’ve already had with him.Intimacy and relationship growth requires shared openness, trust, and a sense of safety.Dating a divorced man means coming to terms with his baggage and how that might affect your relationship going forward.But if you find yourself resenting him—for any reason: whether it’s his kids, his ex, his late hours at work, or even how much TV he watches—your anger and resentment could be pointing to a need or requirement that’s not being met in your relationship.Unless he has recognized this as a problem and/or is seeking some professional help (coaching, counseling, therapy, etc) to get to the root of his inability to stay true to his partners, he hasn’t done the inner work, nor does he have the conscious awareness necessary to really change his behavior.
Similarly, it will be very difficult for a relationship to grow and flourish in a meaningful and fulfilling way if you can’t be real with each other, confide in each other, and have real emotional intimacy in addition to physical intimacy.
The better you get to know someone, the better the chance you have of figuring out whether he’s a good match for you.
If he thinks that what matters to you matter, you have to wonder whether he truly cares about what’s important to you.
If he seems opposed to answering your questions, think about why he’s not willing to go there with you.
Why isn’t he willing to let you get to know him better?
This can be a personal thing and determining where those boundaries are is completely up to you.