The dating experiment
Although he defensively claimed that women normally drive out to see him, the fact that he asked in the first place showed that he hadn’t been interested in my profile—and that he was not interesting to me.
I’ve always been puzzled by men who include things like sports logos on their profiles.Even though Tinder is disproportionately used for hookups, the fact that Tinder is still considered a forum for dating—combined with the simplicity of its format—made it a great starting point for insights on what does and doesn’t work for men who use online dating sites.♦◊♦As a way of balancing the positives with the negatives, the lessons have been listed in pairs.Lesson #1: It’s a turn on when you pay attention to what the other person says.It certainly helped that Tinder has already received notoriety for some of the horrific sexualized pick-up lines employed by many of its users …as well as some infamously juvenile responses to rejection (for one such story, see here).take care.”Chris’s first mistake was that he didn’t read my profile (where I clearly stated that I’m often too busy to respond right away); even if you aren’t interested in a serious relationship with a woman, it’s hard for her to take a suitor seriously as a man if he lacks the attention span and fortitude to read a few paragraphs of rudimentary information.
Aside from just being rude, not reading a woman’s information sends the clear signal that you won’t be attuned to her needs, be they purely physical or anything more.
Of course, simply being annoyed is the least of a woman’s worries.
When it comes to someone like Mark insisting that we meet right away, they also need to be careful about their physical safety!
To illustrate Lesson #3, here is a letter from a man named Mike (not the same as Michael) that deserves to be quoted in full:“We have so much in common! okay, sarcasm aside, you should put a little more effort into seducing men on social media sites. ” After I responded with a genuinely befuddled “Excuse me? ”Once I made it clear I wasn’t going to drive 45 minutes to see a man I’d never met before, he rudely ended the conversation.
The entire problem could have been avoided had he simply read the profile in front of him, where I had made a point of stating that I would not meet people right away.
From that moment I knew this was someone I never wanted to meet. Lesson #4: If you’re genuinely interested in a woman, don’t put pressure on her. (Again, that could be cool)”What made this message so effective was that Mike didn’t simply show that he had memorized the details of my profile; although regurgitating that information makes it clear that you at least took the other person seriously, Mike went the extra step by being light-hearted and comical—even a little weird—in his response.