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People had filled the streets by foot and by car, shouting, singing, hooting, waving flags, acting like we had actually won the cup! It normally means our Yiayia (Grandma's) husband has died and she has never worn colour again out of respect for him. Turn it around so your hand faces you rather than doing a snakehead facing forward. As I write this, I'm laughing, because I know just how much we use our hands to express our words. Make your four fingers into a half Pac Man and press them against your thumb. Most Greek names have Saints associated to them, which means that almost every Greek person will have a name day to celebrate within the calendar year. Greeks consider name days to be of more importance than that of birthdays and tend to celebrate in a huge way. And by money, I mean money sneakily given to you by your Yiayia as if the best drug deal was about to go down. Everyone knows everyone elses' business and make it their business to know everything! Both my parents know how to do it and so they are my go-tos whenever I need. "Nothing remains a secret with Greek families or Greek people. You can have the 'spell' taken off by someone who knows how to do the ritual. The action normally follows the words of some form of disbelief.

Spitting for the Greek culture is a way of detracting any form of evil presence, taking the jinx off something and basically not tempting fate."Mum, my new job is going really well! " Mum to me: "You look so beautiful in that dress" Me: "Ftiseeeeee Maaaaaa! When we have instinct to spit, to 'protect' someone and we don't spit, it doesn't feel right. So careful we have the equivalent of fourteen eyes. In particular, my Gran's favourite move: the thigh slap.

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To be fair to my roots, times have moved on from the likes of Stavros and we are now in the period of Kostas Martakis. When you are dizzy or have a headache and yawn a lot, we believe that you are 'matiasmeni' (the evil eye has been cast upon you).

*currently just listening to Remos and doing strofes. Even if Stavro over there has a natural coat of back hair, sideburns which touch his shoulders and breath like a dried tongue stuck on a cactus in Nevada, if he is Greek, he is a nice Greek boy. If someone is jealous, doesn't like you or even likes you, they can cast the evil eye.

" Believe it or not, I'm not calling my sister a wanker, but rather, in some twisted affectionate way, "sister".